The idea of ‘selfishness’ refers to the means of circumstances under the influence of which a person becomes selfish. Hence, the person does understand reality. Kisa Gotami was grieving the death of her son and went around from house to house asking for medicine to cure him. Later, Buddha tells her that he would provide the medicine once she brings a handful of mustard seeds from a house where no one has died. Kisa Gotami once again goes from door to door but is unable to find even a single house where a family member has not died. This is when she realizes that she was being ‘selfish in her grief’. I agree with this because by asking for medicine for her dead son and then asking people if anyone they know has died, Kisa Gotami was indeed being selfish. She was reminding those people about the loved ones that they had lost.